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Lord love a duck.

My web company forwarded me this complaint from Jaq D. Hawkins, author of Dance of the Goblins (links are mine):
This website has a 5 page slander article that is not linked to by the main site which has been set up to maximise SEO for the sole purpose of causing loss of royalties to the author. There is extreme copyright violation in the extensive outline of the plot of the book that is slandered with mis-representation and derogatory comments included.

The relevant links are:

Please have this content removed within 28 days to avoid legal action.
Furthermore, I request the identity information of the site owner for purposes of potential prosecution.

Please note that I am deaf and have been forced to put an invalid phone number into your non-PC form to acess this complaint procedure.

...Well, I'm sorry to hear she's gone deaf since her appearance on Dragon's Den. That really sucks. Hopefully someone close to her will let her know that deaf people around the world use phones nowadays.

I also wish someone would tell her that no matter what, someone will hate your book; and if she's concerned that a bad review on someone else's site outranks her own book's site, asking for a site review and improving her own site should fix that problem.


( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 18th, 2012 08:13 pm (UTC)
Did you post about this before? I swear I have seen this exact complaint format in the last couple of weeks.
Jun. 18th, 2012 08:57 pm (UTC)
Baha. Yes, I posted it friends-only with different commentary. This one is public.
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 19th, 2012 01:51 pm (UTC)
Nope. I haven't sent her a formal reply, and she may not have been able to work out that this is my blog, so she may not be reading here. Nothing is likely to happen until I either email her directly, or edit my web site.
Jun. 19th, 2012 07:04 pm (UTC)
How much does your ISP care- or are they also... whatever... thought you should know...
Jun. 19th, 2012 09:50 pm (UTC)
She'd have to file a formal DMCA complaint, at which time I tell my ISP that the allegations are a load of hooey, and they put the pages back up within ten days unless she files an actual lawsuit. That also opens her up to a countersuit, since the DMCA has processes for dealing with frivolous takedown notices.
Jun. 22nd, 2012 05:19 am (UTC)
Emailed her, edited my site. Now I wait.
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 22nd, 2012 01:32 pm (UTC)
She wrote back! My review isn't a review, it's still in excess of fair use, "there is no legitimate defence for refusing" to take down a review of a book from all the way back in 2007, I am attacking her personally, and my name is Vanessa.
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 22nd, 2012 02:05 pm (UTC)
She thinks I'm an old enemy of hers from Myspace.
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 22nd, 2012 02:24 pm (UTC)
The question is, if I'm Vanessa from Myspace, and Mr Marmite from Wikipedia is Vanessa from Myspace, am I an apostrophe-obsessed Brit?

...Actually, that's not impossible.
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 22nd, 2012 03:00 pm (UTC)
So I replied back with a couple of basic rebuttals, the evidence from the timing and wording of her own notice that she's mostly concerned about my review affecting her sales, and some links to the definition of a SLAPP lawsuit. We'll see whether she figures out that a) she has no legal case, and b) her butthurt is not going to melt my heart.
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 22nd, 2012 06:10 pm (UTC)
She's threatening to sic a Texas senator on me. Lamar Smith, I think?
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 22nd, 2012 06:52 pm (UTC)
"Don't feel too smug Vanessa. While it's true that the US legal system is effectively closed to anyone outside the country, by going so far OTT in your childish rants you've given me something I can use for the kind of publicity that money can't buy. You might even become famous for giving a certain Texas senator the means to closing down protected identity sites as he did Megaupload."

Because anti-anonymity lawyers are panting for a test case where the plaintiff said in her own words that the offending statements were protected speech... and damages, if proven, would amount to lunch money... and the statute of limitations already ran out.

But I'm pretty certain that she'd have a copyright case, because as she carefully explains, "No book review is 5 pages." Therefore, my review is NOT a review and therefore NOT a work of criticism and NOT covered by fair use.


...Ahahaha wait, she's not after me. She's after Vanessa. Someone had better warn Vanessa quick, 'cos Hawkins is coming to get her.
Jun. 18th, 2012 10:24 pm (UTC)
Good grief. I have honestly seen more spoilery and nasty reviews in the New York Times.
Jun. 19th, 2012 02:12 pm (UTC)
I know, right?
Jun. 19th, 2012 03:11 am (UTC)
Wow, this is *hilarious*.
Jun. 19th, 2012 01:59 pm (UTC)
But not as hilarious as the next book in the series, where a drowning 14-year-old experiences sexual awakening as she's clasped to the strong and manly chest of the monster that recently tried to eat her! (In the non-fun way.) I AM NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP, I CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP, GO READ THE FREE SAMPLE IT'S EPIC AND WILL CHANGE YOUR WORLD.

And yes. Trying to force someone to take down a bad review of your book never goes wrong!
Jun. 19th, 2012 12:35 pm (UTC)
Looks like the guy suing The Oatmeal has a copycat.

I read Lowering the Bar for "entertainment" like this.
Jun. 19th, 2012 02:09 pm (UTC)


*rolls around on floor giggling for a while*
Jun. 20th, 2012 05:51 pm (UTC)
I went and read all those pages.

Heh. Genre-savvy readers are SO hard to impress.
Jun. 20th, 2012 06:14 pm (UTC)
Ayup. :grin: This is why so many self-pubbed authors' five-star reviews start with, "I don't normally read [genre], but..."
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )

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