December 28th, 2005

satyr, drool you bastards, bosom

Gift swap

What the world needs now... is a bunch of parties where we can swap the gifts we got and didn't want for the gifts other people got and didn't want.

EDIT: A few observations from Christmas vacation:

1) verdelite SUCKS. Badly. She sucks so bad, she couldn't get a tapioca ball through a pearl tea straw. And she will continue to suck until I get my hot, obsessed little hands on every episode of Wonder Falls, the show she addicted me to Christmas night. BECAUSE SHE SUCKS.

2) Wonder Falls rocks. "What are you? Are you the cow of pain?"

3) Every show is improved by the addition of a cow creamer.

4) It is wrong, thoughtless, and hopelessly rude to take advantage of someone's failure to remove tags and scratch out prices in order to take the item back to the store. But I'm doing it anyway.

5) My dad also rocks. Possibly more than Wonder Falls.

6) It's hard to stay the black sheep of the family when other family members are coming out of the closet and admitting that they like that weird shit you do, too. A successful businesswoman in the family has fessed up to being a long-time Rocky Horror Picture Show fan, and her daughter wants to spend this summer working at a Ren fair. We're already well supplied with a video gamer geek. Now all we need is a LARPer, and I'll look positively normal.

7) "Liberaceositude" is a Good Word, for lo, has it broken several of my cousins' brains.

8) "Liberacelicious" is also a Good Word. (It means "being delicious like, as, or unto Liberace," and implies a more temporary state of being than Liberaceositude.) The person who came up with it was... my brother.

9) "But why did you burn all the rum?" is not an adequate substitute for "But why is the rum gone?", and repeating it ad nauseam will not improve it.

10) I will barter funky Japanese snack food for subtitled copies of FMA.

11) It was bad enough that we had to gamble when we bought Magic cards. Now they're making us gamble on anime models. I just wanted two specific characters, dammit, and they gave me a pile of sealed boxes that might contain any of seven--with no returns! I appealed to the counter chick, and lo, did she hear my cry and take mercy. She showed me how to weigh the boxes in my hand and compare them with the pictures on the back, then warned me that the companies put extra weights in to screw up the people who'd figured out the weight trick. Then she tried to pick the boxes containing the characters I wanted. She was willing to open one box as a floor model (plus whatever boxes I planned to buy), so we got to check her accuracy--and she was right twice in a row.

All bow before the anime-fu of the owner of Anime Ink, for she is mighty.

And now back to terrifying amounts of work for three days, and then four more days of lovely lovely vacation. I plan to unleash a whirlwind of paint and hammers on the apartment.
satyr, drool you bastards, bosom

(no subject)

There are days when it is merely a human necessity to stay home, curled up under a fluffy throw, eating dim sum buns while watching Fullmetal Alchemist DVDs and teasing the cats.

Am not meeting my human needs. This teacher's edition of a 7th-grade math textbook has no FMA at all in it (I checked) and there are no dim sum buns in the cafeteria. Am fairly certain that teddy-bear-fur throws are not corporate dress code. Cats would not fancy cubicle.

Also, I don't actually have any FMA beyond the first four episodes. This is wrong and must be rectified, and I was serious about boxfuls of Japanese groceries for whomever will make subs for me.

Am going to return to aimless worklike activity with a minimum of sulking now, but will be sulking in my head. Am too exquisite to knuckle under to the daily grind without sulking.