March 12th, 2005

satyr, drool you bastards, bosom

Thoughts upon seeing Alien vs. Predator

Old paradigm: We need some sex appeal in this action movie. Somebody dress a blond starlet in lingerie and get her kidnapped. Make sure she's tied up for at least two scenes--three if we run over budget and really need to make bank.

New paradigm: We need some sex appeal in this action movie. Somebody dress a starlet in as many weapons as she can carry and get her in the middle of some sort of alien combat scene. Make sure she's got at least one really impressively gory kill. Naw, don't worry about making bank; we'll do fine just as long as she's got a lot of weapons.