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A new literary horror

  • Oct. 9th, 2006 at 11:06 PM
satyr, drool you bastards, bosom
Movies are often made into novel adaptations.

Kids' novel adaptations are cut up into several heavily illustrated little books so the kids don't get frightened at the prospect of reading a Whole Big Book. counter create hit

There is a lot of money in selling children many, many little books.

Popular movies sell even more books.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe was a popular kids' movie.

You see where I'm going, don't you?

There is now a set of little simplified books so that children can read a novel adaptation of a movie based on a short children's book. Because reading the original book was just too much.

Am going to go soak my head for a while. Possibly in gin. I end with an Amazon review of one of the volumes:
Behold! The definitive book of the movie of the book of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, number one in publishing order, number two in chronological order, by Scout Driggs, the number one adaptationist in our hearts for all time! This is the finest illustrated adaptation of this short section of the book and film that this reviewer has ever had the visual and brainiacical pleasure of celebrating with my mind! Scout Driggs' formidable pen, or keyboard is put to the test, and the test is aced with remarkable confidence and deft linguistic mastery! There is no lingering in the unessential prettiness of Lewis's drudging prose, Driggs carves images tersely like butter busts of past and present Dairy Princesses on glorious display in the refrigerated arena at the State Fair! Scout Driggs if only I had a butter bust of your unmatchable intellect locked safe in my fridge, good conversation would be no further away than a piece of dry toast.

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