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satyr, drool you bastards, bosom
All apostrophes in the middle of fantasy names are now to be pronounced "boing."

That is all.

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( 108 comments — Leave a comment )
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rubynye
Jul. 7th, 2007 01:33 am (UTC)
Koriand-boing-r.

Okay. *nods*
issendai
Jul. 7th, 2007 02:25 am (UTC)
Once married to Phboingyzzon, erstwhile enemy of Komandboingr.

You see? So much better.
(no subject) - alexx_kay - Jul. 7th, 2007 02:34 am (UTC) - Expand
lordavon
Jul. 7th, 2007 02:35 am (UTC)
So my pern character is now "G-boing-leep?"

AWESOME!

I LOVE THIS PROCLAMATION, Evil Overlady!

Keep them coming!
fer_de_lance
Jul. 7th, 2007 03:07 am (UTC)
...You have a Pern character named G'leep?

Are you, perchance, also a Robert Asprin fan? ((Crosses fingers))
(no subject) - lordavon - Jul. 7th, 2007 01:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
G'leep - dragonginnystar - Nov. 25th, 2011 10:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - issendai - Jul. 7th, 2007 12:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
alexx_kay
Jul. 7th, 2007 02:35 am (UTC)
Can we get an exemption for characters who are actually African? "Tboingchalla" just doesn't seem like an improvement to me.
issendai
Jul. 7th, 2007 12:44 pm (UTC)
We are willing to make exceptions for real languages that are written with apostrophes. Otherwise, Chinese textbooks would be too damn silly.
(no subject) - aries_jordan - Jul. 10th, 2007 07:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - issendai - Jul. 11th, 2007 04:32 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fierynotes - Jul. 11th, 2007 05:07 am (UTC) - Expand
Wade Giles - shakauvm - Nov. 28th, 2011 07:39 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Wade Giles - issendai - Nov. 28th, 2011 04:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - strigine - Jul. 10th, 2007 08:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - issendai - Jul. 11th, 2007 04:27 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - strawberryfrog - Nov. 24th, 2011 10:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
slipjig
Jul. 7th, 2007 02:37 am (UTC)
*lands on carpet, hemorrhaging with laughter* Gads, woman, you've just ruined Anne McCaffrey for me forever.
issendai
Jul. 7th, 2007 12:48 pm (UTC)
We accept your tribute and your praise. Go forth and spread the word of Boing.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - issendai - Aug. 1st, 2007 04:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - undeadbydawn - Nov. 24th, 2011 09:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
rain_dog
Jul. 7th, 2007 03:03 am (UTC)
Mercedes Lackey is likewise ruined. However, Shay aboingchern sounds more fitting anyways.
issendai
Jul. 7th, 2007 12:49 pm (UTC)
We agree. Many, many Lackey characters' names would be more accurate and descriptive if they had a boing in them.
(no subject) - mewsgryphoncat - Jul. 7th, 2007 03:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
llyse
Jul. 7th, 2007 03:35 am (UTC)
BOING!

I predict that fantasy authors will rebel by starting to put exclamation marks in front of names.
issendai
Jul. 7th, 2007 12:47 pm (UTC)
Exclamation marks are to be pronounced "rikki-tikki-tavi."
(no subject) - lordavon - Jul. 7th, 2007 01:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mewsgryphoncat - Jul. 7th, 2007 03:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kayshapero - Jul. 11th, 2007 09:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fierynotes - Jul. 7th, 2007 04:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ateji - Jul. 11th, 2007 04:11 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - issendai - Jul. 11th, 2007 04:24 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ateji - Jul. 11th, 2007 04:29 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - 3rdragon - Nov. 24th, 2011 07:06 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - thette - Nov. 24th, 2011 07:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - padparadscha - Jul. 10th, 2007 07:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - llyse - Jul. 10th, 2007 11:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - padparadscha - Jul. 11th, 2007 02:12 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - issendai - Jul. 11th, 2007 04:26 am (UTC) - Expand
ghilledhu
Jul. 7th, 2007 02:24 pm (UTC)
This is going to make watching any Vulcan episode of Star Trek very interesting...
lordavon
Jul. 7th, 2007 03:46 pm (UTC)
BWAHAHAHA!
Tboingpau!!!!!

*Falls over*
Re: BWAHAHAHA! - ebenbrooks - Jul. 10th, 2007 07:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - llyse - Jul. 10th, 2007 11:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - issendai - Jul. 11th, 2007 12:09 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - llyse - Jul. 11th, 2007 12:14 am (UTC) - Expand
elfowls_nest
Jul. 7th, 2007 03:28 pm (UTC)
Pwaahahahahahahaha!

Now I have to go back and re-read that silly book trilogy of Chris Claremont's - the new pronunciation will make it sooooo much more amusing! (Or any of the old X-Men comics - "O hay it's the Shiboingar Empire!" *snicker* )
rivkaesque
Jul. 7th, 2007 04:40 pm (UTC)
You are a GENIUS! Fboinglar and Tboinglan salute you!

Not to bmention the shayboingaboingchern.
shadowflyer
Jul. 8th, 2007 07:16 pm (UTC)
While I have never, ever, even remotely considered sullying my brain with Lackey fanfic, this thought causes it to make so very much more sense.
(no subject) - rivkaesque - Jul. 10th, 2007 01:12 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - issendai - Jul. 10th, 2007 08:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
makani
Jul. 8th, 2007 10:48 pm (UTC)
I laughed so hard I hurt myself.
You are my hero.
issendai
Jul. 10th, 2007 09:00 pm (UTC)
We thank you!
randomsome1
Jul. 8th, 2007 11:33 pm (UTC)
That'd almost make the Venom Cock book bearable. :D
issendai
Jul. 10th, 2007 09:03 pm (UTC)
If the funny inherent in the plot doesn't make it bearable, juvenile sound effects will always do the trick. :)
biomekanic
Jul. 10th, 2007 07:01 pm (UTC)
Here via caprine, I bow to your superior(sp) brain meats.
ebenbrooks
Jul. 10th, 2007 07:07 pm (UTC)
I, too, am here via caprine. To quote her, you rock like a big rocking thing that rocks a lot.
(no subject) - issendai - Jul. 10th, 2007 09:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hugh_mannity - Jul. 10th, 2007 07:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - issendai - Jul. 10th, 2007 09:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hugh_mannity - Jul. 10th, 2007 09:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - issendai - Jul. 10th, 2007 09:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
esprix
Jul. 10th, 2007 07:08 pm (UTC)
Also here via caprine, and this will make the Taelons very, very annoyed - especially Zoboingor. :D
issendai
Jul. 10th, 2007 09:09 pm (UTC)
The Taelons deserve to be annoyed. Their names were too silly for words even before they became Maboingel, Daboingan, Quoboingon, and Roboingar and engaged in kaboingarboingpaaj and pboingrajboingrath.
padparadscha
Jul. 10th, 2007 07:18 pm (UTC)
Hawaiboingi?
Just for that, I'm going to friend you.

(I am a perpetrator of apostrophes in conlangs. However, I'm a linguist, so I make DAMN SURE that every apostrophe has a purpose, either as a pronunciation or as some sort of actual punctuation. Does this make me exempt?)
issendai
Jul. 11th, 2007 03:49 am (UTC)
Re: Hawaiboingi?
We thank you and shall friend you back as soon as we shift our lazy ass out of first gear our challenging civic duties leave us time to do so.

We cannot exempt the creator of any fantasy language because too many authors chuck in apostrophes, Q's, and Z's until their language reaches a predetermined sexiness quotient, then slap a bad excuse on top. As wading through the excuses would significantly reduce our watching-Dr.-Who-while-skimming-Y!Gallery time, and we are nothing if not serious in our pursuit of cultural interests, we will not attempt a more nuanced ruling. There will eventully be exceptions, but they will require sexual favors. Or possibly more Dr. Who tapes.
Re: Hawaiboingi? - padparadscha - Jul. 11th, 2007 06:59 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Hawaiboingi? - technoshaman - Jul. 11th, 2007 04:40 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Hawaiboingi? - padparadscha - Jul. 11th, 2007 07:09 am (UTC) - Expand
newroticgirl
Jul. 10th, 2007 07:24 pm (UTC)
Here via biomekanic. I'll never look at an apostrophe the same way. *weeps*
issendai
Jul. 10th, 2007 09:10 pm (UTC)
Our work here is done. Go forth and share your misery with others, that collectively they may mock the apostrophes right out of bad fantasy books.
(no subject) - aries_jordan - Jul. 10th, 2007 09:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
*snorf* - issendai - Jul. 11th, 2007 12:16 am (UTC) - Expand
jimhines
Jul. 10th, 2007 08:24 pm (UTC)
I love it! I may have to add an apostrophe name to my next work, just so I can giggle to myself when I go through revisions!
issendai
Jul. 10th, 2007 09:12 pm (UTC)
*hides face in hands* The monkeys mock us. We have failed.

...Unless you established that apostrophes in your world's names were pronounced "boing," in which case that would be, in technical terms, full of awesome.
(no subject) - jimhines - Jul. 10th, 2007 10:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - latheos - Nov. 24th, 2011 08:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
wordweaverlynn
Jul. 10th, 2007 09:47 pm (UTC)
Dear Evil Overlady,

The Comma Police thank you for helping to foil the plot to steal apostrophes from their proper place to supply the apostrophe-crazed addicts of El'fland, Mid'leea'rth, and Per'n.

With your continued cooperation, we will win the war on apostrophe abuse!
issendai
Jul. 11th, 2007 03:29 am (UTC)
We thank you for your ceaseless battle against this scourge of the English language. Without your hard work in the grammar trenches, the entire world would look like the Internet and the Internet would look like a Neopets guild headquarters. Today grammar, tomorrow the world!

(When we consolidate our empire, our first act as reigning Evil Overlady will be to load airline personnel who misuse "momentarily" into an airplane that will, in fact, be in the air momentarily.)
(no subject) - cameoflage - Nov. 24th, 2011 03:02 am (UTC) - Expand
furr_a_bruin
Jul. 10th, 2007 10:39 pm (UTC)
Gboinkar, Naboingtoth and Taboinglon aren't going to be happy about this - do you really want a horde of piqued Narn pounding on your door? I don't know if the pakboingmaboingra are going to be much trouble - but beware the wrath of the Anlaboingshok! Not so much for the dishonor to themselves, but to the Entilboingzha! They live for the One (apostrophe), they die for the One.

I daresay you would not be safe even hiding out on Zboinghaboingdum.... And then there's the wrath of the Drakh Shivboingkala...!
cmdr_zoom
Jul. 11th, 2007 02:21 am (UTC)
a horde of piqued Narn

I believe the proper collective noun is "a bat squad".
(no subject) - issendai - Aug. 1st, 2007 04:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - furr_a_bruin - Aug. 1st, 2007 05:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
bluejogger
Jul. 11th, 2007 01:53 am (UTC)
Imagine my embarrassment, I've always pronounced it "throatwobbler mangrove".
issendai
Jul. 11th, 2007 03:35 am (UTC)
Strangely, "throatwobbler mangrove" is the word for "boing" in several Californian dialects.
padparadscha
Jul. 11th, 2007 02:06 am (UTC)
Is it too late to submit that all words with pointless diacritics be summarily changed to "gazornenplat"?

Imagine how much better Eragon would be.
issendai
Jul. 11th, 2007 03:33 am (UTC)
We are open to suggestions regarding substitutions for unnecessary diacritics, but we doubt that anything short of cleansing nuclear fire can improve Eragon. When we consolidate our empire, we intend to remove the pages of all copies of Eragon and replace them with the complete Lord of the Rings and a set of Star Wars: The Good Trilogy DVDs. No one will notice the difference, but it will make us feel better.
kayshapero
Jul. 11th, 2007 03:06 am (UTC)
ROFL!!!!

Wait'll the LboingDoran Hegemony hears about this...

The Hboingreli will love it.
The Yelisi probably will too even if it does mean everybody gets called things like Sboingdran.
The Altani will be Annoyed when the affectionate diminutives of names like Tuu Ira Isan come out TboingIsan. (Tuu Ira Isan herself won't care, long as she gets to call her mate AboingShain. Snerk.)
The Ataboinga will ignore the whole thing placidly.
The LboingDrey will not stop giggling for weeks.
The MboingKirktik will look inscrutable (hey, that's not hard for a giant preying mantis)

patgund
Jul. 11th, 2007 03:49 am (UTC)
You know, this is drastically improve the "Wheel of Time" series.

Not that would take much doing, mind you......
ateji
Jul. 11th, 2007 04:17 am (UTC)
That was exactly how I sounded it out to my bf upon first reading it. XD
dbcooper
Jul. 12th, 2007 12:51 am (UTC)
Just when I was beginning to reach a point where I could think of "Earth: Final Conflict" with a straight face...

Now all I can think of is Zboingor and Dboingon.

I had also created a gag character name St'eve, whose name will now be Stboingeve. Hm. Sounds like an old Anglican holiday.

Thank you ever so, Evil Overlady.
baron_rorik
Jul. 23rd, 2007 02:19 am (UTC)
furr_a_bruin
Aug. 1st, 2007 05:36 pm (UTC)
Well - as I understand it, the original spelling of "G'kar" was "Jackarr" but I can see why they changed it. And "Ta'lon" is indeed pronounced rather differently than "Talon". But some of them do seem ... superfluous, like pak'ma'ra versus pakma'ra, say. And I don't really think - with a slight spelling change - Zahadum needed any....
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